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i have changed.

Saturday, July 24, 2010 ( 11:13:00 PM )

hello my blog.

it used to be so active but its dead becasue im dead.

nah

just kidding.

hahhaa

okay; cold.

i finally snapped on someone.

a stranger.

someone with authority.

someone who can ripped off my pay anytime.

someone who can complained and have my name off any future event job.

BUT I DONT CARE.

because he crossed the limits.

i wont stand still

letting him insult my friend and myself as a person.

i dont care if he's some big shot.

if he's someone important.

if he's super rich ass.

i dont care.

i kept quiet on the first day when he started throwing his weight around.

AND I KNOW

the shit always gets roll down from the top to bottom.

we may be your workers, working under you

but we are not your slaves!

i know very well to keep quiet, to listen

and i know just well to snap at you =)

i dont see a need that you kept yelling over the phone,

vulgarities on us.

thats not cool.

life's a bore if there's no exciting drama in it =)

i respect you by authority

but youre abusing your authority.

i didnt yell at you

i said nicely and properly

but too bad

youve crossed the line.

surprising for you that we little weak girls could defend ourselves.

hahahaha.

SURPRISE!

okay, i looked like a fool now.

but anyway.

yeaa.

i didnt think of the consequences or wadsoever.

but i just know.

you treat me nice

eventually

i will treat you nice

you insult me

i will insul you back =))

which makes me realise.

JOYCELYN HAS CHANGED.

yes

i've changed.

into someone meaner.

straighter.

its not a bad thing if i can protect myself from predators.

hahahaa.

however,

i wont lose the soft side of me.

to ppl whom i love and care about =)

i hope i can balance it well.

and.

im not joining osch recital this year.

ive given myself millions of excuses.

i couldn take leave for my work

becasue performance will be on weekends

and definitely i have to work on weekend.

i wont pass through any audition genre because i suck.

i love dance.

but its not my passion anymor.

its contradicting where

i used to tell others how much dance means to me.

i guess

ppl like me are just plain lazy.

once we've stopped,

we rested for ages

and the motive/engine to start moving my limps again

are tough.

when i watched past videos of me dancing with my friends and all.

i get this tiny voice telling me to just GO AND DANCE.

yet in my sub-consious mind,

its feeding me with EXCUSES.

and i know

im weak

because ive given in to excuses.

and this sucks

having to pour out my inner thoughts on my blog

knowing someone might be reading this.

joycelyn,

where has my motivation went to?

where are my guts?

do i even have the soul?

bye world.

peace and loves~

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