JOYCELYN`

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okay.
my mind could be not in the right path
so im just gonna rattle wadever it comes into my brain
without thinking
im lazy to think through
and if i didnt mention your name
please please dont assume im talking about you.
i will tell you if its you.

here it goes.
AHLEE'S ZARA VEST $78.
ive msged you
ive called you
ive emailed you
ive wrote your wall
ive wrote my wall
ive told our common-friends
ive told your surronding friends
YET NOT A SINGLE REPLY.
for my sake,
that vest was lent to you
because WE TRUSTED YOU.
i trusted you
when you said
youre gonna wash it and return to me asap.
since recital08 till now,
not a single reply wadever.
you dont feel a tiny piny hurt
because it is not your stuffs to begin with.
ive held my patience for you since long.
its not that i have grudges against you
but i just felt
the least you can do is let me know.
im pretty sure
youve seen/read my mails/msg/missedcalls.
you can choose to ignore it
but wearing it on your graduation day.
like hello?
dont you feel weird?
wearing someone else clothes
and pretend its yours
when we were all chasing you
for so long?
if you still dont get it,
i am really gonna spell out your name HUGE HUGE HUGE!
.
oh and i rmmbr my nike long pants as well.
-
when someone in a relationship
says they wouldn be in their own world
are BULLSHIT.
we will sub-consiously lean towards that way.
you dont need me to type out examples
because we know why.
its not wrong to spend extra thousand more times together
but
at least
DONT GO MIA.
DONT IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS.
dont come crying to us
if you ever gonna go separate ways with your partner.
friends are equally important as your partner.
-
and i dont see why
one must be ashamed to talk to a friend
after a long period of time
of not contacting each other?
the problem lies with yourself.
not anyone else
so stop thinking negatively
-
back then, i had problems with pleasing big group of friends.
one would be unhappy
with me having so many friends.
that they are not as important as another.
that my time was not equally spend with individuals.
this that that this.
so i changed
because i cared what they were thinking
because they mean something to me.
my big group of friends went to smaller group of friends.
i was happier
because i didnt have to make sure everyone was okay with this that
.
things are not so simple afterall.
when i organise/plan outings,
i will ask as a whole because its just my way.
does anyone rmmbr this?
or do they choose to rmmbr as our humans nature are
that
all the bad one like seperate cliques and cliques
sometimes, its best to close one eye and ignore the bad feeling.
it makes me feels lighter.
but everyone is different
.
i had to admit
it was a rough patch at first
when i was bombarded with all these bad feelings.
i got jealous insecure wary of this and that
but i learn to overcome it.
recognize that stupid bad feeling.
i learn to have faith in our friendship.
have mutual understanding between us.
it has to work both ways too.
.
i dont know if my theory works this way.
Eg:
youre in tpde as a club
then you stick with your batch of people
then it goes down to girls
then it goes down to your own clique
then it goes down smaller
then it goes down to just you and one person.
who knows, it goes down to you alone in this world.
.
when you want to share with someone,
that someone is usually the person youre most comfortable with.
and somethings
you share with different friends of yours.
it is perfectly normal.
and noone can blame you for your reasons of doing so.
respect your friends choice of friends
as much as you want them to respect your surrounding friends.
the support we are suppose to give to one another
is very essential to make it work.
and
never ever let the evil spirit in you
make you do things to get back at another person.
it does noone good
but leaves you evil-ly satisfied with yourself.
.
last of all
i want to thank you
to all my friends
who understands me
who trust me
who have faith in our friendship even if we dont talk every single day/month.
who doesnt make me choose btw you or her/him
thank you
appreciate it manymany =)
let us all be happy
life is really short
dont waste time on bad feelings.
.
bye world.
loves,
joycelyn`

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