JOYCELYN`

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ths is my 303th post.
woah O_O
-
finally,
the album came.
i teared as i flipped through the pages.
its not because we argued.
my emotions got over me.
again
and again.
oh.
its frankie and my album.
-
i used to enjoy dancing.
knowing that dancing
was something
i can pour/relate/sound out to.
but many things happened.
im always changing.
so as people around me.
so as things around me.
i resort to finding something/someone
else to make me feel happier.
which is frankie.
dance was my priority back then.
i wouldn feel not like going to dance.
i just somehow changed.
day by day.
i didnt notice i'd changed.
until recently.
anything do affects me.
even the weather.
-
gin told me.
there is this very thick wall in front of me
which is hindering me
to be a very very good dancer in life.
and the thick wall is made up of
my friends, frankie, studies, negative thinkings.
and that i am very very sensitive
and easily affected by
wad other people think/say of me.
that is affecting me badly
and
which is dreading me of dancing.
she also said that she knows dancing is definitely not a leisure to me.
its good to feel that youre lousy at times
because it shows that youre not complacent
and you'll improve alot from there.
however...
my thinkings..
are pulling me down...
and
when ppl dont tell me where to improve
its because they want me to be independent.
they cant always spoon-feed me.
learn to reflect on myself and learn to improve...
i have to be firm with my feelings and decision.
and more.
i need to be positive.
i need time.
alot of time.
-
will people give me a chance?
i dont know.
not everyone is kind-hearted in this world.
including me.
-
its not wrong to think negative of ppl
because you never know
whether he/she is true.
but its not good to always think negative.
yup i know myself.
-
my project.
i dont understand.
thanks irvin cy who tried helping me.
but im just stupid.
cause i cant get it right.
should i just give up that 10%
they're almost done with their report.
im stuck at same point since 4pm.
its 130am now.
-
i bought bright orange lappy cover.
its comfy.
hopefully my lappy will enjoy.
lol.
im crazy.
i wish i am.
-
would you move closer to me?
.

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