JOYCELYN`

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this is joycelyn.
this is my life.
this is my story.
pages filled with.
stupid pages.
and
stupid pages.
this is the way i type
this is my story.
this is my life.
i am getting sick of it.
and yup
i am getting very sick of it.
sick of it.
-
my back have been aching in pain
since friday.
its been
friday
saturday
sunday
monday
tuesday
wednesday
thursday-kyo.
nana days.
sitting and standing for too long
gives the ache.
because i tried withstanding
the pain
by using my upper back to support
my lower back.
thus
my entire back is aching now.
went clinic on tuesday.
im going for x-ray tmr.
not pregnancy but back.
yesterday,
something piakk* in my back.
when i touched it.
something soft like jelly
moving around.
my mum said its soft bone.
cy amel touched
and it creeped them out too.
i just wonder wad is it.
haha.
but well.
this thing.
caused me to think for my future.
i may have the chance
that i cant dance anymore.
you may think im kidding.
im blowing shit,
but its not.
i cant say anything to
make ppl understand.
noone will know
the pain of having
to get up frm your bed
just to go to toilet.
and i wished i could just sleep thru.
the pain of having to turn
to sides on bed.
i cant even feel comfortable
while sleeping.
i dread having to wakeup
and get ready for school.
the pain
to walk down/up the stairs.
yea.
sometimes it doesn hurt
but other times,
it just gave that numb feel
that your legs goes wobbly
and your knee hit the ground.
thats wad happen these few days.
not always
but it did.
because of this.
i had to reconsider bout the upcoming battle.
i know i will disappoint joey.
i know it'll upset her
because she had made so much effort
in choreo-ing the steps
in mixing the songs
and all.
and i never wanted to just
disappoint her again
wad should i do?
when i think of her feelings
and
my back state.
i couldn decide.
oh man.
and upcoming concert.
damn it.
i thought it was over.
i thought my back was alright.
how the hell
did i just got up from my seat
and BOOM
the pain and all comes in.
i dont need anyone to understand me.
its okay.
i deserve this myself.
and i should just stop.
doing anything now.
everything.
hai.
-
im going oversea next week.
the cold weather
will definitely hurt my bone.
the bumpy airplane and buses
will cause more ache.
i will not enjoy the trip.
hai.
at all.
-
everynight
i stayed home.
i cant even bend down.
i cant even squat and jump up.
i want to DANCE!
who cares.
my parents nagged at me
if i were to just do one ballchange.
i listened to songs.
dancing in my thoughts..
wtf.
i hate backpain.
and the feeling of
letting joey down
hurts even more.
i just dont know wad to do.
i just dont like seeing her
being disappointed in me
and i cant do a single thing to prevent it.
DAMN IT!
-
my exams are coming.
maths was total screwed.
i could do nothing.
the teacher came up to me
and asked me
to form a self-study group
because my grades for maths is ....
i nodded.
.
i passed my facom quiz.
28/40.
first quiz ive passed =D
i passed my jap quiz.
28/40.
see the similarity.
haha`
.
dfund quiz.
deannz was explaining to me
how to do.
the teacher din stop us.
thank god.
hope i can make it.
.
autocad was screwed.
my assignment.
tmr is my written quiz.
faints.
.
aircon was fcuk.
seriously dont like her.
yuck.
-
please see a doctor soon.
put aside the thoughts of afraid
of hospital/clinic.
your health is important.
diet-ing has a way.
not dulging yourself with water only,
please.
listen to us.
if you want to stay alive.
-
well.
regarding of concert tickets.
i msged the following.
deannz-replied
zhenying
vincent
tryphoza
woh
zhengting
fayadh
janson
jasmine
lifang
lynette
ms ng
rachel
szemin
huikiat-replied
melise-replied
cy-replied
doris
adele
yimchew-replied
jingwen-replied
jillian-replied
amel-replied
zhihan-replied
izzat
huifang
huiyi
huifang
ahboon-replied
ahmei-replied
heriyanto
jiaming
johnathan
lihua
lipchung
rayyan
veronica
zax-replied
yenching
alson-replied
joycelinn
kenny
li hong
liying
maziah
shaun-replied
vera
weiting
wei xiong-replied
.
i hate msging ppl
and they dont reply me.
den some of them
when they see me.
they'll go
" ahh. so long never contact me bla bla bla"
fcuk.
you din even bother replying me can.
the anger i felt.
makes me wanna hit them straight in their face.
i msged twice.
maybe they just din recieve.
if you dont want to come,
just tell me you cant.
ahhh.
damn it.
-
damn.
aching again.
-
according to psyco.
my main intelligence
is
BODILY KINESTHETIC.
cause it requires my body to move.
eg dancer.
LOL
-
alright.
done.
im feeling so CRAPPED NOW.

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