JOYCELYN`

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sometimes i like being insensitive.
sometimes i like being sensitive.
yet this time,
im unsure whether
its better to be insensitive or sensitive.
if only people are meant to understand each other.
life would be peaceful.
but life is cruel.
people are cruel.
i am cruel.
i can choose to understand you
but do you choose to understand me?
if im not the one youre irritated with,
why do i get the shouting from you?
i just want to let you know how i feel.
if you cant accept my opinion,
youre not being open* enough too.
i can really tell you this
if you really did not raise your tone at me,
i wouldn even raise my voice at you.
and i dunno why my mouth
said im really sorry to you.
at least you said one word
of apologise to me and chin`
gosh.
im sick.
yes im reeally sick.
i know the feeling of being wronged and misunderstood
because ppl dont seem to understand.
i heard your story before.
i heard everything you told them before.
guess i was wrong to tell you i felt that way
when you were so fedup etc
and raised at me.
because youre angry and hurt,
i have to understand.
i am not feeling well in the first place.
okay.
is that excuse good enough?
okay sounded mean.
nvm.
before i get pointed on again.
hai`
i am HURT too.
ive calm myself down.
but you choose to SHOUT.
you told me you are a sensitive person.
so i assumed you were
but i guess im wrong.
because im sensitive.
when anyone's tone changed,
i can feel it.
ten times more den wad you guys feel.
as it said,
different people make up the world.
i dunno how to compromise.
my temper is bad too.
if i dont say,
i feel very tight.
if i say,
it hurts ppl.
put my word nicely?
wait.
do people EVEN put their words nicely to me
when they're angry?
i really dont understand myself.
i just dont.
when i dun understand,
who can?
damnit`
i dont like the feeling ppl give me.
its something noone can change
unless you are a chamelon**
yea.
different ppl got diff passion for dance.
i know myself
that my passion is not as high as some friends of mine.
thats why my motivation is not there.
when im tired,
my brain just gives way.
im not as strong as last time.
i dont even have the strength to dance.
my frankie knows it.
im too tired.
to want to understand ppl
and being shouted at.
when the person dont even want to understand me.
i get really tired of explaining.
talk to my teddybear la.
you can
throw temper
shout
beat
squeeze
bite
hit
squash
slash
kill.
it wont do anything to you.
thats why i love teddybear.
and one thing, they dont leave you for another friend/partner.
nvm.
its over.
-
during ex-practice or practise?,
mistook kaiwen as frankie
was tired.
went to lean on frankie.
gosh.
realised something was different
so i looked up and saw kw.
haha.
cause normally, frankie will touch my head
or ask etc etc.
lol.
i had a great laugh
before things blew up =)
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another thing that annoys me.
i smilt to anyone i see.
be it the person i like or dislike.
so dont judge me for wad you think i wrote.
its unfair to me(life is unfair, i know`)
because youre pointing at me directly
i am the ultimate smiler or sensitive joycelyn
but not the backstabber.
i dont hide my smile from anyone.
i dont hit ppl from behind.
i stab forward
which makes things worser.
cheryl,my classmate.
told me
her first impression of me
was that i was smiling to her
and that i smile to anyone i see
without intention.
other school classmates think so too.
damnit`
you cant blame me for smiling to you
just because i dun like you
and yes
my hatred for a person comes and goes naturally.
when im happy, no hatred etc.
when im angry, any bad things happened before will revive.
it goes to show you are immature to determine my smile
was being hypocrite to people.
you just dunno me well which pissed me off.
anyway, its over too.
lol
-
dance.
is not bout others.
its bout yourself.
sometimes
you avoid dance
in order to avoid people
because you dont want your day ruin,
=)
-
IM REALLY TIRED!
anyway im not really angry while writing this.
just voicing out in my own blog
thank you
because ITS MY BLOG!

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